Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Boring people who pay tax, work hard and never get anywhere in life

I've recently had my life thrown back in my face by some faceless people on the Internet.  They followed me anonymously for years, making notes on my personality, habits, likes and dislikes etc.  They then preceded to throw it all back in my face.  They distorted it quite a lot and portrayed me as a teenager, child, old person etc. and caricatured my image.

From what I can piece together from there strange portrayal of me, I can only guess they think I'm a boring nobody, quite common talking, I live in a house that is similar to a box/dollhouse, I eat fish and chips, egg and chips, curry etc.  I'm a teenager,  I have no drive to aspire to celebrity status, I'm only going out with my boyfriend for his money, I can't dress myself, I deserve to have my house stolen off me, I'm a Jew, I'm nobility probably a lady, I haven't got the skill to be a criminal, I'm lazy and shy - the portrayal goes on and on and never ends.

Yesterday the t.v. started talking to me - it repeated the songs I'd been playing on you tube.  As my life has been so strange for so long I actually wasn't shocked.

My life has been quite boring but it has also been quite fun in parts.  I have got the gift of the gab and can blag for hours at a time about rubbish,  I had a suspicion from the start of the Internet I might get it thrown back in my face one day - so it's interesting to see what was thrown back at me.

This one will make you bitch!!

When I was studying performance art a group of us taught drama for a day in a prison.  What a shock!!  The prisoners were really rude to us, sarcastic and so violent they kept having to be restrained.

We had to have prison food for lunch - the same as wat the prisners ad!!  I had tuna sandwiches thinking I couldn't go wrong with that - wrong!! it was disgusting and served on a metal plate.  Imagine the worst white bread ever - well it was worse than that and not only was the tuna probably not dolphin friendly, I don't know if it was even tuna.  We ate it cause we were starving and also weren't snobs, everyone else was eating it.

When we got out of the prison, we were all ecstatic, it was ruddy awful.  I decided to go into teaching after that experience.

Looking back now after this brush with criminals, I realise what a rewarding experience it was for me.  I've never done anything criminal but I enjoyed the party scene of the 80's and 90's like any other teenager of that era.  After the experience in a real prison, (at around 26), I grew up.  I decided to never get involved in any kind of crime at all as prison really terrified me.  One of my friends on the course once said 'if you can't do the time, don't do the crime'.  I certainly couldn't do the time.

I was brought up to pay my tax and abide by the law, so I've always paid my tax without question.  I suppose this makes me a backward repressed common person - who has no drive to be amongst the gods, but to me I pay my tax as it's one of the great things about Britain.  Recently for the first time I needed nhs treatment but there wasn't any money left in the nhs.  I had to cancel my wedding to pay for the treatment as I'm just a small moronic nobody who lives off egg and chips, (actually I hate egg and chips).  This put us into a lot of debt and ruined 6 years of my life.  I realise this is hilarious to a lot of people - I suppose someone will make a fake twitter to laugh at a fat ugly nobody and her ugly rich boyfriend getting into debt as the money I'd paid into the nhs wasn't there when I needed it.

I'm still a tax payer, however and I will always abide by the law - why you ask?  because of the prison food.

I wonder if they get toffiffee or baby cheeses in prison? 

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